Should have been your day...

My Sweet Isaiah,

Today is supposed to be your due date. I am so sad that instead of eagerly anticipating your arrival, I am still treading in the ocean of grief from your loss.

I want you to know how much you touched my life. In the days I was pregnant, you filled my life with so much joy and so much hope. I just couldn't wait to meet you. I still remember at your 20 week ultrasound, you hid your face, just like your daddy does for pictures. That made me laugh so hard. I knew you were going to be a lot like him and that's a wonderful thing. Your daddy is such an amazing man and he loves you and me more than we will ever know.

I am so sad that I had to say goodbye to you so soon. How I long to hold you and love on you and hear you cry, but even still in your passing you touched my life and the lives of so many around you. You have taught me to embrace life and to cherish relationships with your daddy, family, and the amazing friends in our life. You have taught me that my heart is capable of more love than I ever knew possible. And you have deepened our faith in God so much. My sweet boy, you left a powerful legacy!

I am so jealous that you got to meet Jesus face-to-face before me. I know heaven is so much more glorious than I could ever imagine, and I love that you are there. I love thinking that you are not sad there. Compassionate for us I am sure, but not sad. There are no tears in heaven. Isaiah, please pray for your mommy and daddy. We want to stay strong in our faith and honor the God that you see face-to-face so that one day we can join you in the fields of heaven.

So yes, today should have been your day. And you know what it still is - maybe not in the way I had hoped, but I am going to treasure the way you touched my heart and life. I am going to celebrate your little life!


I love you so very much!

Mom